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leratokhumalo

Mntungwa

Tribute to Royi Sarah Khumalo today marks a year since u left us

My Gran.
I never got the chance to say goodbye.
And when I think of u,simply think of my rose garden memories we had together.
You left a message upon my dripping pumping heart.
One with which I shall never part.
The things you taught me the world will know. You made me smile,angry and cry.
You taught me love and gave me knowledge and not to forget the courage.
If I would say our relationship was perfect I would be lying to myself but would not trade it for anything else.
Even though ur departure brings sorrow.
I open my heart freely to let u go because I know u @ peace and smilling from above.
I long to hear ur voice for real not in my dreams and am missing u already.
It will be strange when I walk in ur room.
And realise you not here any longer. Until that day I”ll close my eyes and see ur smiling face I”ll lock u up inside my heart until we again embrace.
Lala ngoxolo Makhulu!

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Words bigger than stone

I offered to give you an ear but you turned me away;

I tried to brighten up your day but

You never wanted to be seen around me

I used my words to smoother your heart

Strange as it may seem my heart ended with a spear so deep that I could not even experience the next minute by response

 

I hid my wounds to see your smile

A mile away I could sense joy through your eyes

Even through all; I was still of none existence to you

I kneed down by making a promise to you that I will be by your side forever and remain but

to you I was embarrassing to fit in the profile of being your companion

Little did I know that my words and presence will be like unscented air

Till your heart remembers the true me

Will surely smile and hope you will come back to my arms.

Accepting me for who I am,not what you picture me being without any imitations.

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The position…

I was raped(molested) because I am:
Frail elder,
Pawn lady,
Low class citizen,
Not of first grade intelligence,
Senseless toddler,
Thoughtless kid,
Confused Homo,
Powerless man.

Outer being

Our love was everlasting dwelling so I thought,Instead it kept swelling up in regret. For I thought I knew you. Only to realise it was only your outer being that mesmorised me and your inner left me charcoaled. I thought you were different.

The Harvest….

The enormous land is rich in harvest yet
From urban to rural area
The sorrow is of pretty ugly sight
Teachers are slaughtered by very students
That leaves them without any all round assessor
in overcrowded classes.

With new thousand churches in every corner
Few with the true teaching
that relates lack of wisdom to the congregation
Parents forcing their children to attend Sunday school
While some attend
Others are consumed by the prison cells locking away their future.

Multitudes of people contacting a plague of diseases
With less specialised doctors in public hospitals,
The sense of solitude increases to the patients of what tomorrow will bring.

The communities embedded with helplessness affair to anxiety attack
Melancholy minds to distraught thoughts
Few comprehend the emotions
And are willing to help.

Many of us go down with scars on both knees
But all of us,awaiting for response from our one God
Signifying our uniqueness,
For our destinies direct our journey to our own purpose.
Some serve whilst others nurture,
From developers to encouragers,
Healers to problem-givers
For the harvest is rich and labourers are few.

My Camouflage lover

At night you my genesis to future revelations
My light to the darkness,
My overflowing happiness,
My life needs no further reflections
For you are sweeter melody to my emotions .

You promise me the galaxy under shinning star
And present me with utopia
Of what could never be
Bcoz your literate family wants nothing to do with illiterate being,
You stand in agreement with them in my absence
And plead my case in my presence
As they are your mouthpiece
In all our everyday decisions
What about all the plans omissions .

Your touch is warm at dusk
but freezing at dawn
After hours am your better or worse vow partner
The next morning the girl next door
You Inject me with all the attention when it is playtime
But reject me with all your ignorance around people daytime
My happiness overpowers with worry each day
I wonder
Will my lover camouflage for the rest of our lives?

Our control

Many times ,we drown our sorrows with substances
But when we sober up they still ringer
It is not something new we are aware.

Many times,we attend church regularly
But still continue to be empty from the brokeness of the inside and outside
For it is my our sacred hideout.

Many times,we fall in the street holes
By the negligence of the very workers
All they say “we did our work”

Many times ,we suffer from past experiences due to reckless choices
Because we did not think of the impact
And wish to go back the hands of time.

Many times,we feel the heat of examiners
For our understanding is of old school/toddlers
I guess we are not of the same intellectual level.

Many times, we bleed in the hands of markers
That are consumed with their struggles and exhaustion
Remember we do not own the customised red pen

Many times,we find ourselves buried six feet under
By the connection and mistakes of our medical practitioners
But we do not have control.


Many times,we are misdirected by our beloved leaders
But we still follow
For we are loyal.

Many times,we have cut people out of my precious lives
But ask why they are not present
For we have unrealistic expectations .

Many times,we are killed
By those who should be our protectors
Remember we live in imperfect world.

Many times,we starve each day
But our hunger is addressed during elections
Afterall we are exercising our right.

The outlook

The mirror matters no longer
For a queue of people linger

Always waiting in the noisy streets
In anticipation of our undivided attention
As they try with their persuasion.

Alongside their croak whistle,illiterate remarks

With your:


Dear Shapeless/Pakistan/Flabby lady
Ringing a uninspiring tune just like telemarketers

With reluctant response from us

Insults and swearing disperse eastwards to westward addressed to our heartbeats

Kinds Regards -O skobo, ne ko zama

While you saw that,but I still caught your sight

While using my right to walk away.


Each pathway reducing us to nothingness …..

They snatch our freedom
You would assume our body is their kingdom.

Locking away the confidence
As if it appeared to be a coincidence.

Invading the remaining sense of being.

Scant,undress us physically with their wondering eyes.

As they find gratitude in that,
Our emotions fill up with so much hidden solitude.

For we fear walking freely with

Our uneven fat layer/stretch marks/body structure.

For the world lost TOTAL respect for one other.

And adapted nonsensical behaviour that governor us.

You alone…

Nothing can hold us back…You are thee sunshine to my thoughts …that radiates the title deed that u own on my heart…. Each petal represent every part ur presence holds… You hold each part together. Winds and rain come and go but you remain… Your arms are the go to area. Your shoulder my strength.Sunflower to my life. Leave me not for the fence holds you back…


My Drug,my Friend

The circumstances drove me to my dearest friend

Not because I wanted,thou felt sense of security in thee drug

My unravelling presence is constantly chained

Compressed with lingering thoughts of people at my arrival

They fear my being,

They fear my slow talk

They fear my busy hands

Resonating with all that is ruined

My siblings sell possessions at the homestead

Everyone else ,will believe it is

I,thee scapegoat

The guilty one.

The grief keeps wondering, what brief my reality is part of

By each melancholy steps taken

I am continuously shaken

By every wheeled dusbtin rushed to thee scrapyard by thy tiny body

Wears the pain ,where the next fix will come from.

I am surrounded with short-lived joy

Everlasting loneliness

I am already worn by the isolation given to me by my people.

For

I desire to be loved too.

It shall be well…..

All I ever did was to admire your heart
But,my body experienced endless hurt,
Your hands transformed warmth
To a gruesome beating,
The sight became companion with my blue-eyed vision
You wiped away my beauty,for that was your mission,
Whenever I was home late
Each day,you decided my fate
By degrading me
Of the authority, assumed that you had on my existence.
For my love for you,does not allow me to leave
Rather
Hopes that it will be better some day!!

What If,Our Land🌈

What if,Our Land

Was without CORRUPTION

Would the nation be mourning

Pathways blackened

Bleeding,pilling

In desperate need of recognition,

Of the hidden atrocities/injustice

Committed to our fellow loved ones.

Alongside reckless Drinking & Driving

Adding to thee unnecessary speeding

To mere expired papers

With the hope to bribe an official.

While murderers,human traffickers,fraudster and rapists….

continue to destroy the human race,

For the STATUS you in

will make dockets disappear ….

To dive & duck

any criminal charges.

Tenders and job opportunities flow like children pinnata

Via zinyoka connection

To undeserving applicants

For personal gain.

While the deserving sulk up

Their unrealistic experiences ,

expensive qualification gathering dusty mites

To unemployed population.

Homes speaks of the unhealthy breathing space

To all types of shedding.

While corners become joy for robbers

To feed their hungers.

Reality consuming the expectations

Of the far-reached future

For power and WEALTH

Explores the volume of your

Own voice

Bcoz

Others will classify your WORTH.

Grief

Happy Birthday to you….

leratokhumalo

I remember when you said I will never leave you
Young as I was I believed
Under your guidance no harm could prevail for me
My safeguard.
You knew my tricks,my pains and joys
Time did not bring relief
But grief and sorrows
Nine years later I still try to accept you; are not here physically but only in my mind and thoughts
Your death brought a headache difficult to heal;
Love leaves sweet memories no one can steal.
You smiled always even through all heartaches
I can still remember when we asked what was that sore and why is it there in your hand
“Igula” you said to make us laugh
At 10 or 11 years old even I could not understand what was “Cancer” but at the age am in am very well equipped
Creating awareness is my goal
In my heart you will forever remain
Your Legacy…

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Am back….

It has certainly been a while,but am back now .

Expect the unexpected . Be blessed

@KhumzaDaPoet

The friends we keep…

I remember that day we became friends,
Your presence made the rain to dry completely in few hours.
You made me understand what is the meaning of “Friendship”
We
would go on for hours talking nonsense to each other.
Nothing else could to separate us
That laughter we produced after seeing certain things.

All faded away, when the
meaning was of non-existence any longer.
All I wanted was to share with you experiences I would never do with others;that can never happen.
Everything you told me I kept it to myself.
Wow! the opposite felt right to u
Never did I imagine of this day
Suprisely it came earlier than any friendship record.
Prayer will surely be my biggest friend for now on.
Love them all but dont simply trust anyone

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THE TOTAL TURN

Cloudly it might have been
It certainly was not gona be same again
the total turn life took;
the unexpected news that reached my shore.
It surely was not like any other day,
A part of me was lost
As I grasped my breath coming to terms with this predicament.
Through smoking and drinking felt at ease to avoid the reality thereof;
I continued normally like nothing had surfaced.
My guardian angel had told me this was just the beginning.

All happened like a speed of light,
The reality hit really hard when I lost some of my hair.
From that point I knew I would never be the same again.
I never knew who I had became
emotional,spiritual,physically and psychological
nothing mattered no longer
An hour seemed as if it was a day long
struggling to get though it.
Prefered my own space
Irritation to everyone that spoke to me nonsense
Avoidance became keystone.
Negativity took center stage.
I questioned myself,why all of this hapened to me.
living the day not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
As I ran this race,I know will certainly not win this at the top ,but I will surely cross the line at the pace I have the ablity of.
One day will remember this experience that made me stronger
Am blind now but tomorrow will not be the same.

…to be continued…

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